A great deal of pain has went on throughout mine and my husband’s relationship. Because I’ve been through this, I’ve felt as if we’ve been able to enjoy a level of closeness, which some may never know.
We’ve been doing this relationship thing for about seventeen years now; we’ve had to do our fair share of work too, though! The fact is, both of us have brought pain upon the other, numerous times over the years.
I don’t ever want those experiences to repeat themselves. Why would I?! It’s necessary for us to learn from the difficulties we’ve been through though, so we can know how to refrain from doing whatever our part of it was again. If we made any mistakes! But let’s face it – both people each, usually make a mistake or two.
Not only is it good to be able to learn from our pain for the relationship, but I might be able to use the experience to be a guide to the younger couples who are just beginning their journey of wedded bliss. If the opportunity were to present itself. For instance, one of our struggles we’ve had to work through, has been throwing the past in each other’s faces.
“Remember the way you gave my insecurities a ride with the websites that you were visiting?”
“Oh yeah, well I seem to recall you not being the best parent, in not being responsible and paying your electric bill before I came along?”
Even saying that now, I can just feel the way my stomach starts to churn. It’s an ugly feeling, and it’s unnecessary.
Once something has been “put to bed” it’s detrimental to leave it there! Dredging up our past pain is a relationship no-no.
However, making it through these difficult times (after a block of time in between) can be a valuable asset to the intimacy within the marriage. And that’s because you see what you’ve been able to get through to overcome the difficulties, that you can now look at how the relationship was strengthened!
There’s a lot of deep pain we’ve had to go through, during the time we’ve been together and some of these things have taken much more than a few days or an apology. But we can save these for another time.
Battle Pain With Prayer
I don’t want to miss the opportunity to give credit to the power of prayer. We’ve got ourselves a very real enemy that’s quietly seeking to be a distraction by causing a division in our marriages. Distracting us from turning to God, the distraction to our working to have a healthier relationship with our spouses (or anyone). We can fight back with prayers!
Before we go making any decisions about our relationships, we’ve got to spend some time with God and ask Him for clarity. When we do this, we go to the One who’s got the solution for the circumstances that we’re in. My help is from the Lord!
Ok then, how about you. How have you broken through the painful times in your relationship? Have you made a commitment to pray? Will you?
Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let’s not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we’ll reap a harvest if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:8-9