Inappropriate Flirting 

Flirting outside of your marriage is wrong, no matter what way you look at it. It’s never ok to do, and there’s no good reason for it!

Flirting with anyone, other than a spouse, is unnecessary when you’re married.

Trust me though, I completely get it!

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Nobody’s able to tick us off quite like a spouse! Then along comes Joe Blow, and he offers a little attention, right when we’re hurting for it – we obviously get tempted.

I mean, nothing’s wrong with a few “harmless” interactions. Our spouse may be more likely to pay better attention to us! Right? Wrong. Don’t. Do. It.

Flirting ISN’T the Answer

I’ve gotta say, it’s just mind-boggling to me, the amount of people that go through this type of thing. It’s a sure way to slowly kill your marriage!

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Only, I’m not sure why it’s so preposterous to me. I’ve had my fair share of opportunities to respond to a flirtatious man.

No Excuses for Extramarital Flirting

There’s no good reason for flirting outside of your relationship, though! It’s a catalyst for indiscretions.

“I’m just a friendly person!” That’s actually what one married guy – yep, there’s been more than one – said to my husband, when he confronted this “gentleman” about inappropriate advances towards me. Now this isn’t saying there’s no men (or women), who have truly friendly personalities, and then get accused of it being anything more!

Wake Up

Who in their right mind would buy this “friendly person” excuse, though? Particularly, when it’s clear as mud that your spouse’s friendliness is similar to that of a dog in heat! Since I’m keeping it real here, I don’t think that a flirting spouse has issues with being too much of a “social person”; the more likely issue, is they have to feed their obsessive ego.

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This is what an inappropriate flirt might look like:
– being overly polite to the opposite sex;
– having inappropriate phone conversations that aren’t ones they’d want their spouse to hear. How the flirting’s done doesn’t really matter; ALL the ways of doing it will likely lead to the dissolution of a marriage.

My ONLY Romantic Partner

My romance is given to one man that’s worthy of it – my husband. He can flirt with me until the end of time!

Whether he is or isn’t though, nobody else should even bother, because it isn’t a point that I’m willing to make in that way. I call this “being in a mature relationship”.

Marriage has enough struggles

without adding inappropriate behavior to the mix. That may just light a fire up that you’re unable to contain! I stated earlier how I’ve been on the receiving end of quite a few shameful advances, and for the most part I’ve got it covered, without requiring my husband’s involvement.

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So to the new, and future, gentlemen “friends” I make on social media, I offer you a few words of advice:

Don’t invite me on Messenger, DM or otherwise! Not interested.

– If your first remarks are about my physical appearance, these will also probably be your last remarks.

– I’ve been gifted with a very attentive husband; one who pays attention to details, such as when a gentleman “loves” pictures of me, that also happen to be ones without him in it. The value of your “friendship”, well, it means about a quarter of the amount his comfort level means.

Besides all of that though, I love connections that I’ve been able to make online! It’s a fantastic way of knowing who’s in your community, and sphere of influence; for both my career, and being able to provide (and/or receive) encouragement (and/or prayers) to (and/or from) my brothers and sisters in Christ.

  • What About You?

  • Are you presently married? Have you had problems with one of you inappropriately flirting? What words of wisdom can you offer to us? Talk with me in the comments below! Please! I’d love to hear about your experiences.

    Let Me Shoot It Straight With Y’all

    Ok, so shooting it completely straight with y’all, I’d rather be without a girlfriend in the world, than to be with people who are plain disingenuous.

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    Get Together?

    The “get-together” afternoons are awesome every once in a while, maybe some girly wine time – however, if I’m keeping things completely 100 with you, shooting it straight – my preference is, being close to other women who make me feel comfortable about calling them to go get something to eat, and then sob over the troubles we’re going through with some of those awful, bad-for-you desserts (that’s right, I said plural), and to keep ordering them as long as we need. When I know that those once-in-a-while afternoons together aren’t going to ever get to this type of bond, I have no desire to make them happen at all.

    What it boils down to is, the way that I’m made up just won’t allow me to have a lot of conversations about the weather. My season of mothering’s in a place of my desire for a relationship with someone that’s going to be completely unfiltered, plus dig deeper into all the things that really matter.

    Straight Checklisting

    My requirement today is to have friends that aren’t going to look down their noses at me when I admit that, sometimes I just want to run away, then maybe even listen as they confess wanting to do the same thing themselves. However, this is impossible to do with women who aren’t willing to open themselves up to me in such a way. My desire’s to be in relationships with those who have the ability to communicate effectively, in the shitty areas that they’ve experienced, while holding my hand when I’m trying to get through some similar situations.

    My best girlfriend calls me up every once in a while to spend the afternoon together. The two of us are completely capable of hanging out with each other for HOURS on end!

    “Wait…How Long?!”

    I realize that there are people whose minds are blown with the idea of how that could be any fun for that long of time, however the moments that I have with her fills my cup, of needing 100% genuine relationships to communicate with on the important issues. The straight up fact is, I’m not able to accomplish this with little bits of time meeting up together, with the little ones in tow. Plus, since we’re still shooting it straight here, who the hell’s realistically going to communicate about important life matters during infrequent social “parties”, with a handful of ladies who hardly know each other.

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    When my day gets planned around going to see a girlfriend, it better damn well hold some value! My conversations need to have depth, meaty details, laugh-out-loud straight-shameful stories, then some things that we’re going to sob over and afterwards turn into giggles, so much so that we’re getting the hiccups – which quite possibly could be from the wine!

    I Get It

    My head understands, you difficult it is to find people who can truly commit to such a relationship..people that aren’t going to withdraw if I talk about married life, or “off limit” topics regarding temptations, maybe even spilling the raw pain I’m going through as a mother.

    My soul yearns for relationships with ladies that aren’t afraid to shoot it straight, to confess about the family drama going on; and besides them needing to get it off their chests, they’re wanting to do so in my presence. After their release of emotions, I’ll then talk about how I’ve dealt with similar situations of being on edge and completely heartbroken, to why I keep losing my marbles with family, but that it’s the only response I’m capable of sometimes.

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    It Is What It Is

    My plate’s too full to have it any other way. Having relationships for the sake of just having them is a wasted opportunity, when it’s with others that can’t seem to open up on being motherhood, marriage, and their less than desirable relationships with other family members. Who wants relationships that can’t ever get to the point of talking to one another about the great, the awful, the nasty?!

    That’s why my instinct is to be selective. If a woman’s looking for sweet talk, or small conversations about the way that the kids’ football team’s playing, then I’m probably not going to be very likely scheduling an hour (or maybe even less) of my day! Sorry, not sorry.

    Real Talk
    If they talk about the way that they’re family has handled issues with bullying, and admit how agonizing that it was, and that they’d love any feedback? These are the kind of gals that I want to keep close. Honest to goodness stuff.

    I mean, keeping it real again, nobody’s living in Leave It to Beaver world. So, if they’re attempting to make me believe otherwise, I’m happy to pump the brakes on them.

    Relationship Building
    I’m understanding of the fact that building relationships such as these is quite difficult. There’s frequent blunders and bloopers in getting to this point, and occasionally it’ll require being in-your-face honest, while making sure feelings aren’t getting hurt along the way. I can spot the signs easily though: Is she someone who fidgets and doesn’t make eye contact, if I’m talking about issues about my kids? Or is she someone who smacks my shoulder, to tell me, “Girrrrrl! I feel you! My God, I’m not alone!”?

    There’s a lot of effort involved with getting your girl-crew together..ladies that understand the woman you are, and that you’re able to get raw with. Maybe, you just need to learn to love your own company first, before you run into this woman of your dreams!

    What Women Want
    My thoughts are that the majority of us ladies, desire these low-down, nitty-gritty relationships, rather than the smiling “all’s perfect and wonderful” ones. Besides that, we have a desire to provide this to someone else also.

    However, it’s difficult. There’s a lot of waiting required, and sometimes even trying to figure out our way getting to this point. Some women aren’t sure how to even be unfiltered, because they’re afraid that they’ll be passed over for someone else.

    In My Opinion However, my opinion is that it’s not something to be missed. Let all the “perfect” ones pass you over, so you can get to the bestie who’s out there waiting for you, to put it very cheesy…Go on, take a chance. Stop fearing what’ll happen if you’re real and unfiltered, or if you’ll get emotional in the presence of others, maybe say something completely out of line. It’s quite possible to find her by going the route of absolute trust, your real-friend relationship could possibly be sitting just behind you, patiently waiting for some realness to be released by you, that way they’re then able to get honest also.

    Did you enjoy this post? Then mozy your way on over to my social media page, Seasons of Mothering, a welcoming environment for talking about being a wife, an ex-wife, physical intimacy, love and all that intimate girl stuff.

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