Consumed Thoughts

Letting your thoughts become consumed with your needs is a sure-fire way to be drawn straight into the worrying trap.

I have dealt with anxiety. So, in saying that, I know exactly how it feels to be a “worry-wart”. I’ve also learned some of my triggers that sets the anxiety up. It has everything to do with a little thing called “ME-syndrome”. (I made it up, so don’t bother looking in WebMD.)

If I want to get drawn straight into the worrying trap, alls I have to do is allow my thinking to get consumed by the things that “I need”. Oh, and everything I must do in order to meet those needs!

Anxiety Attack

Ah, the good ol’ worrying trap..we’re longtime friends. Do you know each other? It’s that place where you torment yourself with your own awful thoughts. Maybe I’ve seen a few of you frequenting it when I was visiting? No? Anxiety Blvd..it’s a neat place.

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For kicks, while I’m visiting, I then like to grab ahold of myself, plus whatever issue is going on, and make some attempts at taking charge. Like the lady boss I am. Ahem. A piece of advice? Such a bad idea!

What I didn’t realize, during this particular time of my life, was that my worrying was just a symptom of my faith that was lacking. I was way too busy questioning everything I’ve known to be true – such as, the promises given to me in Scripture. What it really came down to, was that I doubted whether God would actually come through for me.

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I don’t know who’d choose to continue living on Anxiety Blvd. Thank goodness I found myself a solution, to get the heck out of Dodge!

In order to overcome the anxiety, what worked for me, was shifting my focus off of what I “needed” and instead casting those concerns onto the One who already knows what all of my needs are.

It’s Comical When I Think Back

During some of my biggest scenes of worrying, I recall talking to myself became kind of my thing. Super exciting conversation! IF you enjoy those rides where you spin around (and around) on them, going absolutely nowhere – except in a hunchback position preparing for what you’re about to up-chuck.

Living in a constant state of worry was suffocating all of the life right out of me. Chaos, at its finest, was taking place! And I much prefer experiencing a life of peace.

If that’s true, if I really crave that sense of peacefulness, then there really was no question of what I had to do: I needed to get on my knees and start praying!


Now, I have always prayed. Daily, actually. But at this point in time, what I needed was to take it a step further. Which, for me, was kneeling in a quiet room and laying it all out there for God.

I began to also learn to spot the telltale signs of chaos attempting to worm its way in. Then, immediately redirect them suckers. I had gotten to a place of refusal. There wasn’t going to be one more second I allowed my anxiety to steal the show.

And again, the key was prayer. Giving every “but what if” to God in honest, heartfelt, on my knees prayer. Sometimes repetitively! And I’ll keep doing it, too! When you find a tried-and-true method to overcome something, letting it consume you again would be, well, chaotic…

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Control Freaks Welcome Comfort Zones

I think Christopher is much happier with the somewhat more relaxed version of me. I would be if I was him.

To me, I can’t say that I’ve ever felt there’s anything wrong with someone taking control of things. And by things I mean, someone that takes the reins on EVERYTHING. Somebody needs to do it, right?? It’d seem like everyone else’s feelings are slightly different, though.

First of all, I can admit it: I like to feel like I’m in control of things! It gives me a sense of knowing what I can expect next. I guess, it’s a little bit of a comfort zone for me.

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It’s a big eye-opener when you get hit with the reality of life! At least, I found myself feeling like this recently.

A Time For Celebration

My daughter’s wedding day is going to be in about a month, and as that’s getting closer, we’re going to need our clothes for the wedding, picked out and ready to go. It’s only one of the things that’s going to be necessary, though. There are also another three items, or so, like:

  • Getting my daughter’s stamp of approval for the clothes we’re wearing.
  • Passing on our clothing choices to the rest of the immediate family.
  • And most importantly, or at least to me, is that I have a backup plan which is absolutely necessary when you have a 5-year-old that’s going to be far from home.

Furthermore, we’re also going to celebrate my brother’s homecoming! The most awesome thing about this? It’s not just a return for the wedding – it’ll be for good! We’ll be celebrating a lot of different things around then.

“The more you try to control something, the more it controls you. Free yourself, and let these things take their course naturally.”

The “living in the moment” season is making its way to the stage. One might even say, this is the best way to live. However, my family understands I’m not ready to prepare myself for this. You did read that right…I do have to prepare to live in the moment.

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Maybe, we can all just find our own comfort zones and know that God’s got a plan for it all to work out. As I, somewhat begrudgingly, come to terms with this I’m learning to embrace the tremendous peace that comes with trusting Him. Being faithfully dependent on Him who never changes, and who will always be here with me – and then, we can include the part about how He already holds the map with all the tiny details. Then I sorta feel the weight lifting. We just have to reassure ourselves from time to time, that it’s all going to work out beautifully. Every part of it, results in beauty. To actively trust – it’ll always slay, preparing for what’s coming next.