There aren’t any perfect husbands in the world, ladies! I hate to be the one to break it to ya. Instead, there are simply men who have quite a few flaws, and make a great deal of mistakes.
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This is a good thing, though! Because now we don’t have to feel inferior to them, with all of our imperfections. Another benefit of their being way less than perfect, is that it provides us an opportunity to learn to love them in the ways we never knew were possible.
The definition of a perfect man is a mysterious being, which can only be found in fictional material. And then there’s Jesus. Look at it this way, we get the experience of showing grace under our belts.
Is that so bad? I’m sorry I brought you back to reality. But we women, well frankly, we need to learn about contentment! Learn to be thankful for our husbands great qualities.
So often, we find the things we’d like to change in our husbands, and continue to harp on them to fix it or refer back to it in the middle of an escalating conversation. Yeah, I see you there, wifey. Yet, then we fly off the handle if they’re quick to respond by pointing out something less than positive about us! No, Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist, but neither does the Mrs.
The best of marriages still include both husbands and the wives slipping up from time to time. But the marriage can still be perfect..when you continue forgiving each other for being imperfect! You can still have a wonderful life, without striving for him or anything else to be just right.
A Perfect Day
Each morning, I wake up and have lots of really awesome goals for the day. On a perfect day, I’ll accomplish all of them! The rest of the time, I’ll give myself grace for getting done what I could. FYI: I’ve yet to have a perfect day! Which is perfectly fine.
If you fall in love, then spend years together, only to part ways because of each other’s flaws..the irreparable damage done might very well haunt you forever. Because there’s going to come a time, maybe after another imperfect relationship or two fails, when you realize your expectations might have been completely unrealistic. Rather than continuing the very pointless search, let’s work on the relationships with the husbands we’ve got!
I have a feeling..they’re not so terrible. And God’s still working on them – just like He’s doing with us.
What runs through your mind when you hear, and then see, terror has struck where your child plays? Well, I got to find out exactly what earlier this morning!
Once again…I’ve been reminded of God’s grace, His provision and of my lacking the knowledge that He has. Why do things happen the way they do? To one person and not another? I don’t know. But He does. And that’s what makes it ok.
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Let me go back a little first.
A Normal Day
This is a picture of what our daily afternoon looks like: I pick Jocelynn up from school, she gives me a hug, and then she drops her stuff to go play with all of her Kindergarten friends in the courtyard.
Since she doesn’t have a lot of friends around the neighborhood to play with, once we get home, I usually let her stay for as long as she likes on most days. In fact, 4 out of 5 times, we’ll be the last ones walking off the school grounds, without a car in sight – meaning no traffic! (yay!)
Chain of Events – Yesterday
When Jocelynn told me she’d be bringing the class stuffed animal home yesterday, I was a little surprised. You see, Beatrice the Bee (a Winnie the Pooh, dressed as a bee) makes her rounds throughout the year. Each child (roughly 24-25 in their class) takes her home for the night, and they have a couple of notebooks in the bag that Beatrice gets carried in which they attach photos, or draw one, plus write a sentence or two about their time together.
Beatrice the Bee
The kids, including my girly, greatly anticipate when it will be their turn to take home Beatrice the Bee. Which is why the last time Jocelynn brought her home, I put my OCD to use and calculated the rough amount of days until the next visit. Based on the above picture, that was taken on March 29th, she should have gotten Beatrice (remember, weekends and holidays) one more time before summer break, in mid-May.
So 19 school days later – with 24-25 kids in the class – seemed early to bring her home again. Whew, we’re all caught up on the timeline, right?
The Day When I showed up to get Jocelynn yesterday, we did the usual and went by the courtyard. She ran around twice, then said she was ready to go. I figured that was due to the wind blowing, (it was over 20 mph!!) in addition to the excitement to get Beatrice home and play.
I’m the classroom mom, so sometimes I get questions or messages from other moms about things. And I didn’t think much when one of the moms text me at 4:20pm asking for someone else’s number. I thought it was a little odd that she’d put a couple of exclamation points on the text, but no big deal. My family tells me I get over-animated in my messages also.
Today is geared up to be an exciting day for the Kindergarten class! It’s Fiesta day, (we DO live in San Antonio, y’all) and tomorrow there will be no school (Battle of Flowers Parade), making for a 3-day weekend. So this morning, we were running around getting together the normal backpack stuff (I’m NOT that mom who prepares the night before); plus Beatrice and her bag, then Jocelynn’s Fiesta Float! It was crazier than usual!
She was so excited, especially about showing Mrs. Socha her picture of Beatrice in front of “the beautiful sky that God made” with her. We get in the class just in time (one day maybe I’ll understand why I make things harder on myself – HA!!), and the room was a madhouse, as expected.
Putting The Pieces Together
The mama that had text me yesterday, was talking to Mrs. Socha about how her daughter had gotten some scratches, but other than catching that piece I didn’t pay much attention. After 4 kids, I have to hear the words “blood and guts” to be phased; my husband likes to remind me how I MUST start working on developing the compassion gene I’m lacking.
Then, the little girl who got the scratches (who’s also a close friend of Jocelynn’s) comes over and starts talking to her about the incident which gave her the wound. That’s what gave me cause to pause.
You see, these scratches weren’t just from running around and rough-housing, as kids typically do. THIS had taken place right out in our school courtyard the day prior…
What We’d Missed
The kids started out doing their normal running around, until it got down to the last 3 of them on the school grounds with their parents – where we would’ve been, had we not brought Beatrice home…19 days later from the last time we’d brought her home. The kids were taking a break, sitting at the blue table in the middle of the courtyard. Meanwhile, the mom’s were over chatting on the sidewalk.
I remember talking to Jocelynn, when we got home, about how the wind was howling outside. It was really making its presence known.
That presence came crashing down, via one of the large trees, which stood directly next to the table that the kids were breaking at. This was the very tree that was used every day after school, for their base while playing tag, that now was splitting off to land on, and over them.
Jocelynn’s best buddy, with the scratches, had been sitting in the small opening of the branches as it split on each side of her – hence, coming out with some minor injuries. Another little boy that’s also in their class, as well as a little girl in another Kinder class, had become lodged underneath the branches and parts of the tree. The boy was the one that required the most effort to get out, which ended up being provided by two dads who walked around the corner of the building (likely coming from their Watch Dog duty) to the women’s cries for help, as the moms were doing what they could, through their own efforts to help the kids.
As I listened to the little girl continue talking, my supermom senses turned on. I know you know what I mean, moms! When you’re hearing multiple conversations, and observing behaviors, all the whiles having your own wheels spinning..yeah, those senses!
I was hearing the child, as I turned back over to the conversation to listen to her mom, who was still also talking about it. Meanwhile, I was also observing Mrs. Socha (whom I love dearly) tearing up. She told us that her heart had stopped when she’d heard the commotion from the classroom, and walked out to see the mess! She wasn’t aware of who’d been involved at the time, but she knew many of her kids usually stayed longer to play.
State of Shock I walked over to the window in the classroom, which is directly behind where the tree was, and I felt what could only be described as a strange state of shock. Actually, I had to reach into my memory of the previous afternoon: “Wait. After school yesterday? I was here, wasn’t I? I’m always here. I’m always the LAST one here? Huh?” “Ohhh. No, that’s right…Beatrice. She came home with us.” “Deep breaths. It’s ok. She’s ok.”
It’s crazy that I managed to miss the tree while I was bringing Jocelynn into the school. We have to walk right by that spot to get inside. Funny how much we live, and breathe, on autopilot, isn’t it? Moving from Point A to Point B, day in and day out. Never paying very much attention to the details of life going on around us, like that large tree covering the table that your child sits at daily!
Assessing the Damage
After I’d left the class, and was back outside – I could only stare, somewhat dazed by the scene. The mom of the other little girl who’d been there, walked up and laid out all the frightening details that had taken place, again, for me.
Praise God for the kids being ok, besides a few bumps and scrapes! And mentally shaken, no doubt.
I’m thankful for there being one less child under there. That MY child wasn’t under there.
And I’m humbled, too. I thought I had knew what was going to take place in the future, you know? When Beatrice the Bee would be coming home with us again. But even then, what would seem to be such a minute matter, I wasn’t grasping how I’ll NEVER be able to control things! Because, just when you think you’ve got things figured out…
Danger lurks everywhere. Even in the elementary school courtyard. God’s always one step ahead, though, working things out for His glory.
Deep breath. “It’s ok. We’re ok. She’s OK!!”
Be Here Now What I’ve taken from all of this: Live in the now! Right now! Stop worrying about tomorrow, and think only of today. Thank you for that reminder, God.
“I am leaving you with a gift..peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 NLT