Healthy Boundaries 

A very important aspect of a marriage involves the setting of boundaries, which are meant to safeguard the morality of our relationship.

Over the past seventeen years, my husband and I continue working on establishing boundaries, in order to display our values. 

In the beginning of our relationship, of course, these were much more reflective of self! I suppose this is fairly normal, when still seeking security.

The focus back then, was about what would make us feel better respectively, in the relationship – as opposed to, what was best collectively. Over time, modifying these would allow the boundaries to be about real common-sense things. 

When it comes to initially setting these, it’s imperative to be in agreement! I mean, let’s face it, if one of us isn’t on-board with the other’s expectations, we’re setting ourselves up for more disagreements being had! 

Family Boundaries

As parents, we need to have one another’s backs also; disallowing the natural tendency of our children to attempt playing both sides to their advantage. My husband and I must show 100% unity with any and all boundaries set, to everyone.

Putting up a united front doesn’t always require verbalization; spoken or unspoken though, others should know he’s got my full support and vice versa. Putting limitations on anything gets a pretty bad rap nowadays. Setting healthy boundaries, however, is actually a normal part of everyday life; it has to be, in order to protect ourselves from harm.

It’s not any different with marriages! 

“A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.” Unknown 

Have you been able to set a healthy level of boundaries in your own marriage? What does that look like for your relationship? In the beginning? Now?

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Forgiving..Again and Again

Fine, I’ll Be Forgiving

Forgiving isn’t just something that’s done once, in order to forget about the past. It’s required daily – specifically with the people who I’m closest to. Let’s take my husband, for instance. I can choose not to forgive him for something, which means I’m also choosing to hold onto a grudge. 

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Marriage allows the art of forgiveness to be practiced enough to perfect it! Maybe that’s just mine? Ha! No, but wow. I never thought I’d get so familiar with the need to forgive someone!

If I choose to hold onto a grudge, the next thing I know is I’ll also be harboring bitterness. The more bitter I become, the more hard-hearted I’ll be to my husband. Then I’ll start to get increasingly more negative and sarcastic. For some, that’s what leads to the love between two people to start becoming virtually non-existent. 

Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite

One of the most necessary things to practice in marriage, is never going to bed angry..ever. Yes, that means even if he refuses to budge on apologizing for the things that he might’ve done wrong. I can still forgive him, even without this. I’m still working on this one! It doesn’t come naturally, that’s for sure. 

Not going to bed angry is a detrimental to practice, and will help me to remain emotionally healthy. Here’s a couple of quotes that I like a lot, in regards to forgiveness:

  • “Forgiving doesn’t make the other person right – it just makes me free.”
  • “Not offering forgiveness damages the vessel that stores it, worse than anyone you can spit it on.”

There should be no one that I hold back forgiveness from in my life. I certainly shouldn’t be holding onto any grudges against my husband. I also understand this is MUCH easier said than done! 

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By forgiving others, I’m doing myself a favor too. It’s then that I’m free to truly live! 

““If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.” Matthew‬ ‭6:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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