Losing My Way

Christians Beware: Losing Everything Is Still An Option!

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Christianity isn’t something that guarantees people an easier life. I’m a Christian, and the truth is, I’ve been disillusioned into thinking that my faith could never be swayed. But I don’t believe this any longer. I know that as a believer, I’m just as capable of getting lost as anyone else. 

The reality is that it can happen again – to me and to any of you.

Cause I Gotta Have Faith

I have no desire to wake up one day and find myself so far from my faith, that it feels impossible to get it back..at least to where it was. The key to maintaining a strong spiritual walk is being consistent in working at it. AND heavily guarding it. It has to be both! I know that now. 

The things we find ourselves tempted by aren’t going to just go away. If I find myself unmotivated to do my Bible reading/studies, the temptations have this absolutely grotesque ability to presenting themselves in a very strong way the second I decide to let my focus shift – no matter how shortly it shifts. Don’t give these bastards the opportunity to sneak their way in! In an instant of weakness, everything can change. You see, I’ve learned that just because I’m in this faith spot today, it’s not guaranteed I’ll be here tomorrow. 

Recently I found myself in a spot where there was a pretty major decision that I had to make. On the left, I was being offered the chance at throwing caution to the wind; to live in the moment. And on the right, I had the promise of certain victory, though maybe not instantly. Letting it all go in an instant – ONE instant – had I not been mindful of what I’d be turning away from. 

Sad But True


What’s sad, is that I see people daily who are choosing to turn in the opposite direction. I don’t judge them, or at least, I work really hard to not judge them – because I too have felt the pressure to cave. This type of “freedom” to go on and live without regards: to my responsibilities, to my faith. “Just do you”. Can I just say…what a crock that statement is?!

That option, to “just do you”? I don’t have that option. And neither do you. It’s a bullshit lie! Because, whether I choose to face it or not, what I do – it affects way more than just me. What I do will reach down to my family, and to everybody I’m close with – hell, even to people I’ve never met! “Just do you” is something people tell themselves to release any ownership. 

BUT – and there’s always a “but” – there’s some good news. I don’t live disillusioned (at least in THIS sense) anymore. I know that if I let my guard down I can easily be swayed. For many people, being swayed has already been the case. (I’m getting to the positive part, I promise!)

So you let yourself fall asleep at the wheel, and everything you worked up to dissipated in a hot minute? Guess what? You can get it back! It might be hard..no, scratch that, it WILL be hard! And you might be facing consequences as part of the aftermath from your decisions..this is part of what goes along with “just doing you”, so pony on up and deal with it!

But start wherever you’re at, and begin to rebuild the life that you’re meant to live! It’s a great life, you know?

Control Freaks Welcome Comfort Zones

I think Christopher is much happier with the somewhat more relaxed version of me. I would be if I was him.

To me, there was NOTHING wrong with taking control of things. ALL things. Someone’s got to take the reigns, right?? Everybody else seemed to feel the differently.

Controllas Gonna Control
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I like to be in control – the sense of knowing what should be coming next is a comfort zone for me. Or, that was my perception.

Reality has been such an eye-opener for my family – or I should say that thinking little old me has any clue as to what should be coming next is pretty ridiculous. Let’s look at exhibit A, shall we?

My daughter’s wedding is coming in the next month. Correction: less than a month. During this time most of my household will need to have our clothes for the special day picked out; make sure that Brooke approves of the clothes; let the people who have been trying to plan what they want to wear know of our clothing choices (what the parents of the bride are wearing is apparently a thing); possibly have backup plans – because having a 5-year-old and being far from home are factors; PLUS be ready to celebrate the homecoming of my brother who will be transferred back for the first time in his military career the night before the wedding. Needless to say, hardy har har, that being clued in on how the agenda lines up is quite – unlikely  – hmm – and needing to just be thrown out of the window as of now. 

“The more you try to control something, the more it controls you. Free yourself, and let things take their own natural course.”

The “living in the moment” season has made its way to the family stage. One might say that this is the best way to live; my family knows that I have to overly prepare myself for this fact, though. (Yes, you read that right…I have to prepare for living in the moment.)

However, I think that we all should be in our comfort zone – since everything will work out according to the heavenly Father’s plans. With my somewhat begrudgingly coming to terms with this more over these last couple of years, I learned that I could feel tremendous peace by trusting Him to have everything under control. To be faithfully dependent on a God that has never changed, has always been there – then include the part of His having already mapped out each detail, it kind of feels like a weight has been lifted. My family can be assured that everything will work out beautifully. Everything is going to work beautifully. The act of trust, it wickedly slays knowing what’s next. 

Stop snoring