Over the past seventeen years, my husband and I continue working on establishing boundaries, in order to display our values.
In the beginning of our relationship, of course, these were much more reflective of self! I suppose this is fairly normal, when still seeking security.
The focus back then, was about what would make us feel better respectively, in the relationship – as opposed to, what was best collectively. Over time, modifying these would allow the boundaries to be about real common-sense things.
When it comes to initially setting these, it’s imperative to be in agreement! I mean, let’s face it, if one of us isn’t on-board with the other’s expectations, we’re setting ourselves up for more disagreements being had!
As parents, we need to have one another’s backs also; disallowing the natural tendency of our children to attempt playing both sides to their advantage. My husband and I must show 100% unity with any and all boundaries set, to everyone.
Putting up a united front doesn’t always require verbalization; spoken or unspoken though, others should know he’s got my full support and vice versa. Putting limitations on anything gets a pretty bad rap nowadays. Setting healthy boundaries, however, is actually a normal part of everyday life; it has to be, in order to protect ourselves from harm.
It’s not any different with marriages!
“A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.” Unknown
Have you been able to set a healthy level of boundaries in your own marriage? What does that look like for your relationship? In the beginning? Now?
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