Losing My Way

Christians Beware: Losing Everything Is Still An Option!

Christianity isn’t a guarantee that we’ll have an easier life. I’m a Christian and truthfully, I was simply delusional, for thinking my faith would never possibly be swayed. It was a false belief that I don’t believe anymore, because I’ve learned there’s always one way or another to end up in this position.

The reality is, it can also happen again – to me, and to any of you.

First of all, I don’t want my faith ending up so far away from me, that I don’t know how to get it back. The key is to constantly stick with it. Furthermore, I can’t let my guard down. This won’t work without doing these both!

***This post has affiliate links in it, and I’ll receive compensation if you make purchases after clicking on them.

Big Savings for Big Fans at Fanatics.com

The Perfect Life

Things that are tempting to us, won’t just simply..go away. I might lack motivation for reading my Bible, and then next thing you know, these will present themselves in a powerful way. This only takes one split-second. No matter how short my focus shifts, it can be a game-changer. Don’t allow temptation the opportunity to sneak in! In that moment of weakness, you’re life can turn upside down. In addition, there’s no guarantee that faith will be a part of my life. I have to work at it, and keep building it up.

I recently found myself with a pretty major decision I was needing to make. On the left, there was an offer to throw caution to the wind..to live in the moment. Then, on the right, was a promise of victory. Except, with this one, the results may not be visible yet. I could’ve let it all go in an instant – just ONE instant – if I’d have let any disconnects form in my faith.

The Sad Truth

No matter how sad it is to see people turn from their beliefs, I’m not in a place to judge! Because it’s too easy to cave into pressure. To have “freedom”, to live without any regards to: my responsibilities, or my faith. “Just do you”. And, can I just say…that statement’s such a load of bull!

The option of “just doing you”? Yeah, I don’t have it. And neither do you. It’s bullshit, friends! So sorry.

I have to face reality, and accept the fact that, my choices aren’t just going to affect me. They reach down to my family, and everybody that I’m close with – hell, even people I haven’t ever met! “Just do you” is something people tell themselves, so they can release ownership.

I’m not delusional,  anymore. Well, not about this. Due to the fact that I know if I let my guard down, things are capable of swaying me. For many people, this is already the case. (The positive part’s coming..I promise!)

Ok, so you let yourself fall asleep at the wheel for a while. And, as a result, all of you’re hard work fell apart. Well guess what, buttercup? You’re still able to get it back! Maybe it’ll be hard – ok, scratch that, it’s GOING to be hard! You also might have to face some consequences for decisions that were made. It’s part of that whole “just do you” song and dance. So pony up, and deal with it head on!

Start from where you are; begin rebuilding the life you’re wanting to live!

It’s really a great life, ya know…

“It’s Ok. She’s Ok.”

What runs through your mind when you hear, and then see, terror has struck where your child plays? Well, I got to find out exactly what earlier this morning!

Once again…I’ve been reminded of God’s grace, His provision and of my lacking the knowledge that He has. Why do things happen the way they do? To one person and not another? I don’t know. But He does. And that’s what makes it ok.

Let me go back a little first.
This is a picture of what our daily afternoon looks like: I pick Jocelynn up from school, she gives me a hug, and then she drops her stuff to go play with all of her Kindergarten friends in the courtyard.

Since she doesn’t have a lot of friends around the neighborhood to play with, once we get home, I usually let her stay for as long as she likes on most days. In fact, 4 out of 5 times, we’ll be the last ones walking off the school grounds, without a car in sight – meaning no traffic! (yay!)

When Jocelynn told me she’d be bringing the class stuffed animal home yesterday, I was a little surprised. You see, Beatrice the Bee (a Winnie the Pooh, dressed as a bee) makes her rounds throughout the year. Each child (roughly 24-25 in their class) takes her home for the night, and they have a couple of notebooks in the bag that Beatrice gets carried in which they attach photos, or draw one, plus write a sentence or two about their time together.

Beatrice the Bee

The kids, including my girly, greatly anticipate when it will be their turn to take home Beatrice the Bee. Which is why the last time Jocelynn brought her home, I put my OCD to use and calculated the rough amount of days until the next visit. Based on the above picture, that was taken on March 29th, she should have gotten Beatrice (remember, weekends and holidays) one more time before summer break, in mid-May.

So 19 school days later – with 24-25 kids in the class – seemed early to bring her home again. Whew, we’re all caught up on the timeline, right?

The Day Where Nothing Was Ok

When I showed up to get Jocelynn yesterday, we did the usual and went by the courtyard. She ran around twice, then said she was ready to go. I figured that was due to the wind blowing, (it was over 20 mph!!) in addition to the excitement to get Beatrice home and play.

***This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

Jersey Sale

I’m the classroom mom, so sometimes I get questions or messages from other moms about things. And I didn’t think much when one of the moms text me at 4:20pm asking for someone else’s number. I thought it was a little odd that she’d put a couple of exclamation points on the text, but no big deal. My family tells me I get over-animated in my messages also.

This Morning 

Today is geared up to be an exciting day for the Kindergarten class! It’s Fiesta day, (we DO live in San Antonio, y’all) and tomorrow there will be no school (Battle of Flowers Parade), making for a 3-day weekend.

So this morning, we were running around getting together the normal backpack stuff (I’m NOT that mom who prepares the night before); plus Beatrice and her bag, then Jocelynn’s Fiesta Float! It was crazier than usual!

She was so excited, especially about showing Mrs. Socha her picture of Beatrice in front of “the beautiful sky that God made” with her. We get in the class just in time (one day maybe I’ll understand why I make things harder on myself – HA!!), and the room was a madhouse, as expected.

Putting The Pieces Together

The mama that had text me yesterday, was talking to Mrs. Socha about how her daughter had gotten some scratches, but other than catching that piece I didn’t pay much attention. After 4 kids, I have to hear the words “blood and guts” to be phased; my husband likes to remind me how I MUST start working on developing the compassion gene I’m lacking.

Save 10% Off at Steve Spangler Science

Then, the little girl who got the scratches (who’s also a close friend of Jocelynn’s) comes over and starts talking to her about the incident which gave her the wound. That’s what gave me cause to pause.

You see, these scratches weren’t just from running around and rough-housing, as kids typically do. THIS had taken place right out in our school courtyard the day prior…

What We’d Missed

The kids started out doing their normal running around, until it got down to the last 3 of them on the school grounds with their parents – where we would’ve been, had we not brought Beatrice home…19 days later from the last time we’d brought her home. The kids were taking a break, sitting at the blue table in the middle of the courtyard. Meanwhile, the mom’s were over chatting on the sidewalk.

I remember talking to Jocelynn, when we got home, about how the wind was howling outside. It was really making its presence known.

That presence came crashing down, via one of the large trees, which stood directly next to the table that the kids were breaking at. This was the very tree that was used every day after school, for their base while playing tag, that now was splitting off to land on, and over them.

Jocelynn’s best buddy who had the scratches,

was sitting in the small opening of the branches as it split on each side of her – hence, coming out with some minor injuries. Another little boy that’s also in their class, as well as a little girl in another Kinder class, had become lodged underneath the branches and parts of the tree. The boy was the one that required the most effort to get out, which ended up being provided by two dads who walked around the corner of the building (likely coming from their Watch Dog duty) to the women’s cries for help, as the moms were doing what they could, through their own efforts to help the kids.

Wait. What?

As I listened to the little girl continue talking, my supermom senses turned on. I know you know what I mean, moms! When you’re hearing multiple conversations, and observing behaviors, all the whiles having your own wheels spinning..yeah, those senses!

I was listening to the child as I went back to the other conversation,

to listen to her mom who was still talking. Meanwhile, I also was observing Mrs. Socha (whom I love dearly) tearing up. She told us that she thought her heartbeat came to a stop when she heard the commotion from the class, and before walking out to see the mess! She wasn’t aware of who was a part of this at the time, but she knew many of her kids usually would stay longer to play.

I walked over to the window in the classroom, which is directly behind where the tree was, and I felt what could only be described as a strange state of shock. Actually, I had to reach into my memory of the previous afternoon: “Wait. After school yesterday? I was here, wasn’t I? I’m always here. I’m always the LAST one here? Huh?” “Ohhh. No, that’s right…Beatrice. She came home with us.” “Deep breaths. It’s ok. She’s ok.”

It’s crazy that I managed to miss the tree while I was bringing Jocelynn into the school. We have to walk right by that spot to get inside. Funny how much we live, and breathe, on autopilot, isn’t it? Moving from Point A to Point B, day in and day out. Never paying very much attention to the details of life going on around us, like that large tree covering the table that your child sits at daily!

Assessing the Damage

After I left the class and went back outside – the only thing I could do was stare in somewhat of a daze, at the scene where it had all taken place. The mom to the other little girl who was there, came walking up to lay out all the frightening details of the prior afternoon for me again.

You can see part of the seat to the table underneath.

Praise God for the kids being ok, besides a few bumps and scrapes! And mentally shaken, no doubt.

I’m thankful for there being one less child under there. That MY child wasn’t under there.

It’s a little humbling, too.

I thought I knew what was would take place in the future, you know? When Beatrice the Bee would be coming home with us again. But even then, what would seem to be such a minute matter, I wasn’t grasping how I’ll NEVER be able to control things! Because, just when you think you’ve got things figured out…

Danger lurks everywhere. Even in the elementary school courtyard. God’s always one step ahead, though, working things out for His glory.

Deep breath. “It’s ok. We’re ok. She’s OK!!

Be Here Now

What I’ve taken from all this, is to: Live in the now! Right now! Stop worrying about your tomorrows, and think only of today. Thank you for that reminder, God.

“I am leaving you with a gift..peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 NLT